Anjali Mukherjee

The more I care about someone, the more I accidentally allow them to oppress me (is a realization that struck me recently). The other day a dear friend of mine came up to me and asked me if I could go out shopping with her. I was in the midst of research on phyto sterols and its effect on cholesterol and really didn’t want to go out. But I was too ‘nice’ to tell her that so I had to choose to go out shopping and subtly resented myself for giving up my research.

A few days later once again she asked me to accompany her for a late night do (as she was going through some depression and needed to lift her mood). I was trying to meet my Thursday deadline for one of my columns. I felt the resentment rise up in me again and a little voice inside me said “don’t do that to your self again!”

Do you really enjoy going out late night and ruin your next morning too?”(The next morning I had to take my thirteen year old daughter for tennis coaching at 6:30 am). I gathered up enough courage to tell her to count me out, but one look at her pleading face… and I found myself agreeing to her!. Of course later I had to pay the price of being ‘nice’ as I overshot my deadline for my column and barely made it to the tennis coaching next morning.

Lessons learnt

 I do believe that every situation in our life teaches us something. Some aspect about us that needs to be corrected (healed). It dawned upon me that I found it difficult to say ‘no’ to most people dear to me. I realized how important it was not to be ‘nice’. When our niceness allows another person to prevent us from getting our needs met we resent ourselves, our life situation and subtly begin withdrawing from that person. This is not a healthy state for both of us. It is important to learn to say ‘no’. I do believe there are lots of people in the world who cannot say ‘no’ just because their partners or friends may get hurt or angry and cannot take ‘no’ for an answer. If you don’t bring about this correction in your life, then you will have to continue to obey and suffer.

Are you a die-hard workaholic? Do you experience guilt when time gets ‘wasted’? Do you get impatient with your family and friends who demand your time that cuts into your precious ‘work’? Do you dislike having long chats on the phone with friends because it takes you away from your imagined life purpose. Do you avoid going to parties, exhibitions, dinners with friends because you consider it is a total waste of time? Well, there is some new research from Japan just for you

The research suggests that being surrounded by lots of family and friends and having a supportive social network enhances the health benefits of having a few drinks and is known to be good for the heart and may even help people live longer and reduce risk of heart disease. It would make you happy and relaxed and consequently have a beneficial effect on your health in general. Needless to say light drinking is heart protective i.e. 1-2 glasses of wine 2-3 times a week. However heavy drinking and too much socializing would wash away all the health benefits. As always moderation is the key to good health.

Get-togethers with family and friends are fun. So come out of your sacred cocoon and allow yourself to loosen up a bit. Laughing with friends is not only relaxing and de-stressing, but also therapeutic – in the sense that it has a balancing effect on your terribly serious life.

Laughter, play and having a good time with friends and family is as important to your health as is eating and sleeping. It is critical for your sanity and continued well being.

So friends whilst it is good to work hard – don’t take the fun out of life! Cheers!

I want to share with you that it was almost a decade ago when I read this line in an article which said ‘All that you need to do in this world is to be happy’! This line changed the way i ‘saw’ things. For one; the first thing I reminded myself on waking up, was to ‘arrange’ my thoughts in such a way, that they would keep me smiling and happy all day long. Initially it seemed difficult, as any stressful situation that came along was able to ruin my state of mind! But with practice i was able to continue in my happy state for longer periods. Secondly, i began to do work which gave me the greatest joy and was able to spread the same to others. ‘Do not permit little little things to ruin your happiness’- I told myself… you are not only what you ‘eat’, but also what you ’think’ all day long. Therefore the solution is to choose the right thoughts in order to stay happy, just like i would ask my clients to choose the right food if they wanted to be healthy…Just ponder over this friends, everyone has issues and problems to deal with. If these are dealt with in a happy (read positive) state of mind the outcome is more likely to be good (read positive). Become aware of your emotions every minute. Dismiss the negative thought and begin your day with something positive. Think positive. It sets the tone for the day. Practise this every single day until it becomes a habit. Ofcourse there are ways to deal with situations. The first rule is to ‘choose’ not to react to an unpleasant situation. This is the only path to happiness. Once you are free of negativity you can develop a choice in response as you are no longer controlled by your emotions. Your response in such a state is more likely to make the outcome positive. Stop worrying about things which are beyond your control. Stay free of reactions and always choose to think positive and accentuate the same in others. Life is too precious. Not to be wasted on hurry, worry and curry. Stay healthy! Remain happy!

Recently I was on a short vacation in bali. I was looking my worst in faded jeans and uncombed hair midway through my watery tomato soup. When a voice shrilled into my ears saying, “Aren’t you so and so…?”excitedly. I gagged over my soup wondering who on earth would recognize me here and found myself saying, “Yes I am”… even before I could complete my sentence she said “you know I read your column regularly and you should write about what people would like to eat, rather than what you would like them to eat. This way more people would take interest in your column!” “That’s true” I answered solemnly – but I write to safeguard your health. The food has to agree with your body and not your tastebud!” i continued; she looked as though she ‘saw’ things differently for the first time! encouraged, I continued…“you must eat to nourish your body and not to pamper your tastebuds as they will always want food that may/may not be healthful”.

If you have been brought up on a traditional diet of fresh green vegetables, well set curd, crisp rotis and lasoon flavored dal; all your five senses will rejoice on eating such food and so will your body. But if you have been brought up on colas, cakes, chocolates and curries then you do need to read my columns. You must consider yourself more important than such health destroying foods and keep reading my articles till you begin to ‘see’ a shift in your own health. When you begin to eat healthily you don’t necessarily give up chocolates and ice creams; but you realize that a salad satisfies you much more. And that is just the beginning of your journey towards better health…..

The other day I was at lubna adam’s birthday bash. The pool side party was full of recognizable, perfectly groomed models. Needless to say lubna was looking gorgeous and so were my other clients and ex Miss India’s. Most of them had well worked out bodies and looked tall, slim and striking in their knee length floral summer dress.

I went to the bar and asked for my favorite drink fresh lime soda salted. The bar tender looked up from his busy table with a worried look (meaning that he didn’t have it), so I settled for a virgin mary which has my favorite tomato juice correctly spiced. As I sipped it slowly enjoying the salt as the rim and watching more familiar faces walk in, someone tapped my shoulder and said, “What is the secret behind your effective weight loss program?” How do they all look so slim and attractive! Their motivation and my food formulas is what I wanted to say – but I just smiled…..

I am often asked this question at parties! Just to let you into the secret that there is no real secret to a beautiful you. Beauty is simply an inside job. You have to eat right and workout regularly to bring out the glowing and slimmer you! All that you need is the desire and the inclination…..