BIG RJ K

hi guys,

kuchh zyaada hee waqt guzar gaya aap sabse mukhaatib hue…but i am back now:-) aaj toh mausam itna beimaan ho gaya hai ki yaqeen hee nahi aa raha…i just hope koi major humgaame na ho, kharaab mausam bhi ek kharaab sapne ki tarah kuchh hee der mein khatm ho jaaye…

khair, yahaan pichchle itne dinon mein life mein kuchh alag cheezein hui hain…Ab mon-fri 10pm-1am and sun 9pm-12am apna show kehlayega LOVE MEIN TWIST WITH ‘K’ aur next week se kuchh bahut extra special honewala hai…

main aur aap pyar, lagawat,pranay, mohabbat ki baatein karte hain, toh apne kitne saare references bollywood ki romantic movies se aate hain… toh maine decide kiya ki ab main aur aap, ek romatic movie dekhne jaayenge…a BIG DATE WITH K…18TH nov ko khastaur se ek multiplex mein screening arrange karwa rahi hoon, aapke aur apne liye…aap mein se bahuuuuut saaaare mere sath aa sakte ho…:-)

kab kaise yeh jaanane ke liye be with me on the show aaj raat se…

aur haan, iss sunday 9pm-12am honge suniel shetty mere saath, jinki de danadan release hone ko hai, but what is special is ki aap mein se jitne mujhse poochhte rehte ho na ki humaare parents humaare pyaar ke khilaaf hain,unhe kaise manaayein…aapko khud suniel shetty se sunana chaahiye ki kaise unhone Mana se shaadi karne ke liye apne maa baap ke saamne 9 saal ki ghor tapasya ki…:-) by the way, suniel shetty is such a charmer ki kya bataaun, no wonder Mana ne jo unhe 27-28 saal pakda, toh aajtak haath se jaane nahi diya!

baaki, aaj ki weather reports bahut encouraging nahin hain, par panic karne ki jagah lets chill and keep orselves occupied…hum log already BIG 92.7 fm ke studios mein pahunch chuke hain,aur aapko har important khabar se updated rakhenge…

take care,

love,

K

this morning i woke up to the horrific story of the 60 years old psycho dad Gomes in Naigaon, Vasai who kept his wife and three daughters in captivity for seven whole years, starved and beat them up…the reason he gave his wife was that the daughters would be raped even if they so much as stepped out of the house??? now forget about the absconding psycho dad for the moment, i am just glad that the NGO Anand rehabilitation centre along with the police took action and got the the wife and two daughters out of the house,but what made me mad was the fact that a neighbour mentioned that a few times in the past the wife Theresa had found the door open,stepped out and told the neighbour that they were starving and needed food,but the neighbour didn’t bother to help or even try and find out what the problem was…what is it that makes us so insensitive, unfeeling towards our neighbours for God’s sake? i was thinking that if the same neighbour had raised an alarm,informed the authorities, maybe, just maybe, the ordeal for the women of the household could have ended a bit earlier?!!

actually, the ordeal for the family is far from over…they have to deal with the trauma of  all those years of being locked away in the house without sunlight, without electricity,try to come to terms witht the fact that the husband, the father of the family brought it upon the his own wife and daughters…how scared and petrified must they have been that they never really tried to seek help from anyone…i wonder if they ever tried to cry out aloud to alert there neighbours…but then i wonder if they had tried whether the neighbours would not have just pretended not to have heard anything?

but hats off to the one neighbour who got to know of their plight and didn’t turn away but got them rescued!!! kitni duaaen milengi uss insaan ko, sirf uss family se hee nahi, hum sab se bhi…i am thinking about the third daughter of the family who had gathered courage to get in touch with the another NGO Sakhya, who came to her rescue,but unfortunately the mother and other two sisters were so petrified of the father finding out and the retribution that might follow, that they refused to leave with the second daughter… the psycho dad then filed a case of kidnapping against the NGO Sakhya who had to then stay away from the rest of the family…but thankfully the third daughter  is supposedly living secretly in the city and has found a job to support herself…may God be with her!

i am now praying to God that the father is apprehended at the earliest and given the harshest punishment…and i hope that the mother and the two remaining daughters can overcome their trauma and start life afresh,away from media glare and all!

 iam going to live in hope and  pray really hard for that to happen!!

coming back to the show, from this monday in the first hour 10pm-11pm, apart from love10@10
 the latest romantic love songs we also have pyar ki agneepariksha happening…am sure most of you are aware that this is the segment where you can ask me to call someone you have liked,loved or admired for very long and i would ask them on your behalf whether they would like to go out on a date with you or would much rather put a stamp of rejection on you…bas yahin ke yahin Aar Ya Paar!

my 12 baje ki setting also has a new avataar, but you better tune in yourself to find out more about it!!! and for all those ignorant people who might not know what i am talking about…:-) tune in to BIG 92.7 FM weeknights 10pm-1am and sundays 9pm-12am to be with ‘K’…

Love,

K

Past couple of days I have been plagued with the question why people can’t (or is it won’t?) take a no for a no…it was related to some listeners I have had recently on the show, who even after being told n number of times that the other party is not interested in them, are busy investing all their emotions, into such non-existent relationships…

 The reason why I couldn’t get my mind off this topic at all has also been the fact that in the past few days there have been these instances in and around Mumbai of people getting grievously hurt by people claiming to be in love with them or some such thing…and I have always believed that if you don’t pry yourself away from such obsessive feelings it is bound to lead to one taking some extreme steps…even an ultimate act of violence…

 And today I woke up to the news of 25 year old nadiya being gang raped and burnt alive by “a spurned lover” and his accomplices…first of all, I think its totally inappropriate to give the tag of a’ lover’ to such lunatics…and secondly what makes people  commit such heinous crimes? In this case the guy had offered to marry this girl a few years back but the parents rejected his proposal as he was not in a job, but he didn’t stop stalking her and would always try to intimidate her while the husband was away…nadiya wasn’t sure how her husband would react and so never discussed the harassment with anyone. And that seems to be the unfortunate part, as it seems in about 60% of the cases jealous stalkers who have threatened you in the past will try and attack you at some point.

 I came across the term ‘sexual terrorism’ a while back. Sexual terrorism includes rape, wife battery, incest, pornography, harassment and all forms of sexual violence. it is a system by which some males frighten, and by frightening, control and dominate females…and I was thinking even an act of eve teasing happens for the same reason. if you are traveling on a Best bus or the local and some guy tries to just stand near you, breathing down your neck, or just touching your elbow, he is trying to take pleasure from your discomfort and the fact that he is in control of the situation in such circumstances. That is why you need to give them a kick in the area down under, and create a huge ruckus.

 But its not always that simple, sometimes your stalker can also threaten you or your family with bodily harm, or have some other kind of hold on you and mostly one would try to endure everything in silence, apparently, that is what nadiya did and unfortunately became their victim.i just hope and pray to God, that people will let her rest in peace. The accused should definitely get punished but not at the cost of the victim’s dignity. because in most cases of sexual terrorism, one ends up noticing, the victims themselves are blamed eventually and the ‘terrorist’s’ actions justified…’this guy must have been sick, or  ‘mardon ke liye toh yeh natural hee hai’, ‘bechare ka dimaagh phir gaya hoga”.one newspaper already tried to add masala by insinuating that she had an affair with the accused before she was married, and I am afraid that this might be just the start. People will make up hazaar stories. but I hope they don’t…

 Even our movies make people believe in the adage ‘everything is fair in love and war’. The heroes in our movies mostly are so aggressive, they never take no for an answer, and the boys think it’s the same for them. if a girl refuses, she must just be shy, the hero can definitely ’make her fall in love’. How many times have I heard my listeners telling me,’ K, woh mujhe dekh ke hansi, toh matlab phansi na?’ ‘or ‘K, ladkiyon ki toh naa mein bhi haan hoti hai na?’ or ’K, who mujhe nahi mili toh main kuchh kar daalungaa, and you realize that they are wrapped up in feelings for the other person to such an obsessive level, that they fail to realize when they cross the threshold.

 I have been staring at Nadiya’s picture in the paper since morning and thinking of Tonya Hailey, the 10 year old black girl from John Grisham’s first novel ‘A time to kill’ which I am reading nowadays. In the novel Tonya is brutally raped by two racist white guys and her father Carl decides to take the law in his hands and shoots the rapists dead. The one question that keeps cropping up in the novel during Carl’s trial from time to time is “ if your daughter met with the same fate, as a father what would you do?”

 I can’t help but think of all the family and friends of all victims of sexual violence and feel that the victim undoubtedly goes through tremendous trauma, but the near and dear ones also have to go through their own emotional hell.

 All such crazy, stupid, heinous acts of violence destroy not only the victims but their family’s lives too…

 I am praying for nadiya, her husband, her parents and her two little kids…

 Take care,

K

 i  always thank God for the fact that i have been blessed with good skin, coz if i had a problematic skin, i could never have been regular in taking care of it  as i am very lazy when it comes to visiting a parlour or even doing simple things at home… but for the first time in my life maybe  i have a beauty regimen

past few months my health has been a little iffy, as a result my facial skin has taken a beating,so much so that people started commenting on it…but my brother-in-law, my sis’s husband went the extra mile and decided to appoint himself my beauty advisor. last week i visited them after a while and he just sat me down and very bluntly told me that i looked like death but he had a remedy…he handed me a small bottle of aloe vera juice and asked me to apply it on my face each night before bedtime for the coming 2-3 weeks…he also asked me to have amla juice on empty stomach every morning…he wanted me to let him know if made a difference…

and i am proud to say that for once i have actually tried following a beauty regimen diligently and seriously can feel the difference already…though i am going to wait another couple of weeks before letting my brother-in-law know the results…i  should also hopefully go up in my sister and my sis-in-law’s(my bro’s wife) esteem :-)…they both have always been exasperated by my non existant passion for make up,clothes, jewellary etc…so however shortlived,this should be my redemption…:-)

btw, yesterday in confessions with K i had Ms. N with me who said she met Mr. H on 1st november 2008, he proposed to her on the 6th of the same month…but then they faced stiff opposition from home which really made her very insecure.later they went for a holiday to Goa and there she put a lot of pressure on him to prove his love by marrying her then and there…the guy finally succumbed, they went to a small temple, bribed the preist and got married…after coming back to mumbai,H started avoiding her and a few weeks later broke off all ties with her…now she has no idea what to make of this, does she consider herself married or not? unfortunately she has no proof of their shaadi as the guy has destroyed all pictures they took that day…

she understands that she put undue pressure on the guy to marry her secretly,but is going totally ballistic thinking what next?she is contemplating taking some legal recourse of action…but will that bring that guy back to her,or break their relations even further?how crazy can the world be at times na?

khair,in a lighter vein read about this taiwanese girl Yang Ya-ching who is right now in Paris on a mission to kiss 100 guys…has already snared 54 of them, and has been blogging about her experience, and the best part is that she has had 1.97 million visitors to her blog!

and heard of the 107 year old woman from Malasiya Wok Kundor who has been married some 22 times and now that her 22nd husband is in drug rehab she thinks he might not want to get back together and is ready to take on her 23rd husband, if need be!!!

but her 22nd husband,who is 70 years her junior has reaffirmed his love for her from the rehab,and wants to be with her forever! they have been together for 4 years now, and her previous marriages have lasted for less than 4 years on an average, so you never know, maybe this is the one for keeps!

my niece is unwell again…she is 11 aur hum sabki jaan hai…so if something happens to her,haalat khasta ho jaati hai…right now its just a congestion and slight fever,but as all of us are working,we really have to juggle our schedules around to make sure we are there for her…we all take turns…right now my brother is taking care of her,latenight i will take over…atleast i will have the whole afternoon tomorrow to be with her…

but right now have to rush!

Love,

K

i  just reached our BIG FM studio, headed straight for the canteen, got myself a black coffee with sugar and sat down to blog, and looking at the coffee i realised i can be quite adaptable when need be:-) At home i want to have only my tulsi ginger herbal black tea, but at work after trying everything on the machine, i chose black coffee and when i am travelling or visiting people i don’t create any fuss and have coffee or tea with milk or whatever…though normally i need to avoid milk and milk products as i am mildly lactose intolerant…sunane mein kitna bhaari bharkam lagta hai na? believe me i realised this problem after suffering from stomach aliments for years and years…but since my mom shifted me to black tea,life has been a breeze…

you guys must be wondering where is all this going? actually nowhere, by now you guys must have realised i have the habit of writing exactly what i am thinking…:-) so this was another random thought that came to me…

right now am gearing up at work, what with umpteen meetings lined up, and finally the show at night,won’t have any breather after this…the one thing i am looking forward to is my off tomorrow, as i want to go watch katherine heigl and gerard butler in The Ugly Truth…wanted to go for the matinee show, my favourite time of the day to go watch movie, but boss has just told us about ‘just a quick meeting tomorrow’ at 11am already…chhutti ke din chhoti si meeting…toh ho gaya din swaaha!!!

ok! so plan B is to quickly finish the meeting tomorrow, somewhere late afternoon go for the movie,then go pick up my 11 year old niece from my sister’s  for a stayover at my place…have been so busy past few weeks that have missed out on one on one time with my favourite(read only) niece…:-)

yesterday, 12 baje ki setting was very satisfying as i got a model choreographer on air who wanted to become akele se dukela, and out of the four guys who wanted to befriend her she chose a dance teacher,and they seem to have hit it off very well… now very soon i’ll be organising a meet and greet at the studio so that they can meet face to face…it is my favourite hour of the show at this point…

then Mr. A was very repentant and wanted to apologise to his ex doctor gf who left him the day he abused her left right and center in a fit of rage…ab gusse mein moonh se nikle shabd bhi kamaan se nikle teer ki tarah hain, waapas toh liye nahi jaa sakte, but one can just hope and pray that with time the other person will find it in their heart to forgive you…now Mr. A had started to feel that his gf takes him for granted and so ranted and raved on her, but now realises that as a person she is the kind who always tries to help others and as a doctor she has a duty towards her patients first…but i wonder whether if  he gets another chance with her,will he be able to remain as understanding, or will he get back to being his insecure self? lets see…

btw, yesterday i read about this guy stephen bennett in Ohio, USA, who tried to rob a house with two others and then two hours later went back to the same house to ask his female victim whether she would like to go out on a date?!! unfortunately for him, the girl recognised him, and handed him over to the police… dil ka maara, pahunch gaya jail bechaara…am still wondering what kind of fatal attraction must he have felt towards the girl to have been compelled to take such a risk?!! :(-

am off to a meeting for now…:-)

love,

K

you know my show on BIG 92.7 FM happens every weeknight 10pm-1am and on sundays 9pm-12am…during the show you can always sms me and i call you back, but in case you want to leave a voice message then 24/7  you just need to dial 5055454 on your mobile, say Confession and you will be guided on how to leave the voice message…i started this ivrs facility as i realised that this gives yet another platform for you and I to be in touch…and i am glad that a lot of listeners have started using the facility to reach out to me …:-)

yesterday, Mr. 0999 had left a message saying that he is  plagued with guilt about how he left his girlfriend in lurch and got married to another…he kept in touch with his ex thinking he will try and ease out things with her, but realised that she was still not over him, and was insisting she would never marry another which made him feel even worse about things…as of now he has changed his mobile number, but can’t help feeling guilty about the fact that even while he was with her, he never really explained to her why he would never be able to convince his parents about this relationship and why it wouldn’t work out…

this is such a classic situation…one thing i don’t understand is that if people are already aware of such facts at the onset of a relationship and they know they won’t have the guts to stand up to their parents regarding their choice of a life partner, then why go along with the whole charade?or do we have a tendency to just leap into things,thinking  jo hoga toh dekha jaayega…iam thinking of the girl who must be left wondering what went wrong suddenly? how do you come to terms with the fact that somebody who professed to love you until yesterday has suddenly chickened out and opted out of the relationship without even giving a proper reason? and the guy changing his mobile number must be another slap on the face…but maybe at this point its better for her to break all ties with him, and try to sort out things in her head…nahi toh agar aise hee baatcheet hoti rahi, toh samajhne samjhaane ke chakkar mein dimaagh ka dahi naa ban jaaye…

as for the guy, i do understand that its at times really hard to withstand the emotional blackmail that parents can put one through when they want their way…and sometimes its just easier to give in and surrender to their demands, and go by their wishes…but then you have to gather enough inner strength to let go of your past and start afresh, as like in this case, unless and until he stops thinking about his ex, and lets go of the guilt, he will not be able to give his 200% to his newly wedded wife, his new life ,which deserves nothing but his best effort…

i hope he can get sorted out soon… can forgive himself for being weak, taking the easy way out and in the process hurting somebody so badly…and i hope his ex is also able to accept the fact that its over,and that its time to move on…can only try and imagine what she must be going through…

have to get back to a meeting at this point…the festive seoson is coming up, and we are thinking of ways to make it even more special for our listeners on BIG 92.7 FM, and one of them is going to be giving out 9270 passes to the best of dandiya events all over mumbai…sahi dhamaal hoga…

until then keep listening to our Chillax Hits only on BIG92.7FM…Suno Sunaao…Life Banaao

yesterday was anant chaturdashi and ganesh visarjan and today is the first day of shraaddh, my sister and brother-in-law performed his father’s shraaddh today, my parents shall be doing the same for my grandparents in the coming days…somehow i like this ritual of remembering and offering prayers for the elders in your family…

i am already at work, as we have some important meetings lined up,so i thought i should try and put down my thoughts before we start with them…

yesterday M was very worried about the fact that she has not told her present boyfriend about her previous two involvements, and now suddenly she is feeling guilty about hiding such a thing from him…the problem is that she seems to have missed a window of opportunity when her boyfriend confided in her about his previous relationships…and now how does she talk about something like this out of the blue? seriously , this can be such an agonizing decision if you are not fully sure how your partner is going to react about to it.personally, for me its imperative that my partner and i confide in each other about such issues. actually i don’t even think its such a big deal yaar…so what if you had previous relationships,whats in the past is in the past…why should have a bearing on your present life?

but to each his own, i think M’s major fear is what if she keeps quiet about it, and her present boy friend gets to know of it through some other source…though i feel, that if this is troubling her so much, she should sit him down and just confide in him…hopefully he will understand, and she will also feel lighter…

In ‘confessions with K’ there was a very confused ‘T’ who is dating this one guy, but now her ex boyfriend from school days is back in her life, and has asked her out…she is torn between the two and feeling a little guilty…she obviously doesn’t want to hurt either of them but is aware that whichever way she will be breaking atleast one person’s heart… she said she has even tried being rude and a little mean to her present boyfirend,thinking that maybe this way he will start liking her a little less and break up with her on his own, she told me this and we laughed because she also realised how juvenile she is being. for now she has decided to go ahead and meet her ex as only then will she be able to decide which way her heart wants to take her…lets hope woh zyaada der is tarah do naav mein sawaar naa rahe…

have to rush for now…

Love,

K 

arre yaar, zara maaf karna…iss baar likhne mein thoda waqt lag gaya…bas yeh soch lo life mein solid qawaayad chal rahi hai…but a long time back i had decided that some of us who have most things going for us have no right to crib…just look at all the people in the world who don’t have as much but still manage to keep a smile on their faces…its not a pravachan yaar…just something that i believe in…

anyway, yesterday on the show  ‘N’ was in a quandry as her boy friend has given her an ultimatum that either she ‘has sex’ with him or he will leave her…and poor N who is not yet mentally prepared to do so is thinking maybe she should give in and sleep with him in order to hold on to him…and i told her she was being crazy…now don’t get me wrong…i am not being prudish as i also know that physical intimacy is an integral part of  being in a relationship…but shouldn’t both partners be on the same page on the issue? now i think N is still not comfortable with the whole idea but wants to push herself for her bf’s sake…but why should you sleep with someone under duress? i am sure its not an easy choice for N too, because somewhere she is emotionally attached to the guy, but how do you deal with a situation where the other person is not ready to respect your wishes?

now N needs to decide whether she should just sleep with the guy and be done with it or should she try and reason with him, tell him about her apprehensions and see if he will try and understand and maybe wait for the right time to get intimate with her…lets hope she makes the right choice for her…

yesterday ‘V’ was very agitated as she says she belongs to an extremely rich family and is love with a well educated guy who is not very well to do…ab yahan tak baat hoti toh theek hai, but she also said that her father is having an extra marital affair and she hates him, so she is planning to run away from home…and i just felt that V needs to deal with both these issues separately…i am sure she has seen her mother getting hurt due to her dad’s conduct but if her mother doesn’t want to take any action against him, unfortunately it is her parents’ business…and if she is very clear about her feelings for this not so well to do guy then she should deal with it separately as she has lived a very luxurious life so she should make an informed decision whether she can deal with all the cards that life is going to deal her in coming future…i guess somewhere she is desperate to have a perfect home,with a perfect guy who will keep her happy, be faithful to her…basically an antithesis of her dad at this point…i hope it works out for her…

have not been feeling very well for the past few days and everything seems to be a drag…you know na some days are just like that…but am trying to pep myself up and try and get to work, and start another day…one of those days where you feel the need for a BIG JAADU KI JHAPPI…

Love,

K

okeke ikuchukwu, a 26 year old nigerian who has not been able to find a partner supposedly due to his problem of stuttering has decided to marry his pillow which he has used since the age of 16…i remember, a while back another woman in the US had decided to marry a joyride in an amusement park…she has been on the joyride a few thousands of times and feels very attached to it…but it makes me wonder as to how lonely some people might be feeling in a world full of so many people that they decide to go to such lengths to fulfill their wish of having a life companion…it seems in Japan there is a full flegded industry catering to such needs with the help of very lifelike ‘Hentai’ dolls…imagine having an inanimate entity as your object of affection…

then there was this woman in Ghana ,Emily Mabou, who married her dog as she saw qualities in him that supposedly were similar to her dad…closer to home,in Orissa one woman Bimbala Das married a 5 foot long snake in a ceremony attended by some 2000 people,the snake refused to come out of the anthill where he lived, but priests chanted mantras with a brass replica of the snake in front of them…but in this case the whole village was excited too as they thought such a union would bring the village a lot of good luck and fortune…

do you think these kind of unions happen because people are so bereft of companionship and togetherness, a genuine human connect with someone that they decide to create their own version of  perfect companion?

though come to think of it, having such inanimate or non human entities as your life partners might mean, no chik chik jhik jhik…no traas…you are the king or the queen of the relationship and bas khud aapki hee chalti hai!!?

wanted to even discuss about why do people who know you for ages give you thoughtless gifts, but have to run for now, so another day,

very soon..:-)

Love,

K

you know the most defining moments on the show for me are when my listeners get back to me to give updates on their lives…its huge for me that they feel somewhere we have connected earlier on BIG 92.7 FM and they need to do a follow up with me…for those who might never have heard me (although yeh kehte hue bhi dil dukhtaa hai!! ) you can listen to K weeknights 10pm-1am and 9pm-12am on sundays…

khair, i had ‘M’ back onair with me after one whole year…he smsd me and i promptly called him because i remebered last year he was in such a mess…he is not originally from mumbai,but was fortunate enough to find a family in mumbai who willingly took him in and treated him as their own…now the daughter of the household and he fell in love, but the problem was that he was 35 and she was barely 18…over and above that when we spoke last he was traumatized as he said if he acts upon it and tries to be with the girl,he would feel he is betraying the family’s trust…and he also thought he was too old for her…now i truly feel that age is no bar when it comes to falling in love, but i understood how torn he was about letting the family down…i had asked him to distance himself from that household and the girl and come to an informed decision…

so two days back ‘M’ called to say that he had left his job and gone back to his home town for 7-8 months, now  back in mumbai he had decided to forgo the love of his life…he has even found a very nice groom for her closer to her age and her family is ecstatic…the girl of course would listen to him because she has  a lot of regard for him but i was feeling a little sad too for her…because i don’t know how much of this is happening with her actual consent or whether she is just resigned to her fate…?

‘M’ reminded me of apna veer singh from love aaj kal who is very moralistic about how to go about handling his love life…but then that is his upbringing and his values and i am sure he is only trying to do what he thinks is right by him…anyways i was really touched that ‘M’ took the pains to reach out to me again and let me know how he was doing…these sort of things really overwhelm you and make you feel that maybe you are doing something right for another human being to feel a connect with you…

by the way, this time around for ganapati BIG 92.7FM is going green and we are going to have  a huge eco friendly  pratima of Bappa put up with contributions from our BIG FM listeners…your contributions have to be in the form of newspapers, as in the raw material for apne Bappa…so if you would like to be a part of this drive just keep listening to BIG 92.7 FM…SUNO SUNAAO …LIFE BANAAO…

Love,

K